Distraction Is a Blindfold

Last week, I delivered a keynote called What Are You Missing?

We spent some time exploring how much we can miss, even when we think we're paying attention.

And that got me thinking about something pretty simple.

I talk a lot about the importance of noticing.

Noticing what's happening around us.

Noticing what's happening inside us.

Noticing the things people say, as well as the things they don't.

But how much of that am I actually capable of noticing when my attention is somewhere else?

Think about how much of our lives we spend physically in one place while mentally somewhere else.

At dinner...

But still at work.

At work...

Thinking about something happening at home.

Listening to someone...

While mentally preparing my response.

I'm physically there. But am I really there?

Here's what I’ve concluded…

Distraction is a blindfold.

Not because there's nothing there to see, but because I'm not giving myself the opportunity to see it.

The pause in someone's answer.

The expression that doesn't quite match their words.

The moment with someone I love that I'll never get back.

All happening right in front of me.

And I might miss every bit of it because my attention is somewhere else.

So what's the answer?

I don't think it's particularly complicated.

Be where you are. Be with who you're with.

Because presence is a superpower.

Not because it gives me some extraordinary ability to read people or understand everything happening around me.

It simply puts me in a position to notice things I might otherwise miss.

Both the obvious and the not-so-obvious.

And here's the good news.

Presence is something I can practice.

Put the phone down when I'm spending time with people I love, instead of checking something that probably could have waited.

Close the laptop.

Stop rehearsing my response while someone else is talking.

Quit mentally moving on to what's next while I'm still in what's now.

And when my mind wanders? Bring it back.

I'm not going to get it right every time. 

But I can get better at it.

So that's where I’m challenging myself.

Not to add another thing to my plate.

Just to give my attention to what's already in front of me.

Distraction is a BLINDFOLD.

Presence is a SUPERPOWER.

And the difference begins with deciding to actually be where I am.

— Coach Dave

Your NoBS Reflection

NOTICE: When am I physically present but mentally somewhere else?

OWN: What distractions am I allowing to compete for my attention?

BUILD: What distractions can I intentionally set aside to be more present with the people around me?

SUSTAIN: How can I practice bringing my attention back to where I am when it starts to wander?